I Stand with Femininity, not Feminists.

Woah, there. Yes- I said “femininity, not feminists”. But to understand why, let’s just start here.

Sometimes I wake up and roll out of bed to groggily stick a tooth brush in my mouth ASAP. Just as the electric spin rattles my brain awake, I always find myself staring into my reflection. Now, this isn’t a poetic, emotional journey like it is in Mulan- instead it’s a “who are you” with a snarky sideways glance moment. And then I realize that I am not the person that I was 2 years ago- I’m not the person I was even 2 months ago.

I remember a period of my life where I couldn’t bear to look at myself in the mirror for fear of what I might see staring back at me. There was a time where I would look at my reflection, but only be able to magnify the imperfections. But now- now I can look in the mirror and smile at my own reflection. This isn’t the product of a whole body make over, it’s a mental makeover.

So if life’s all good, why do I blog?

This blog isn’t a tell-all from the freshest, fittest, and fabulous-est female in the world. In fact, I’m probably in the bottom 10% if there was a master list somewhere in the clouds.

Here’s the thing: I’m probably more imperfect than the majority of the human population. I make more mistakes than I can even count, and those are just the ones I’m aware of. But the key to this optimism is that I am able to learn from these mistakes that I’ll keep having to process over and over until the day I’m not alive to process any longer.

I blog because I’m an external processor- when life throws me lemons, I need to talk about it before it crosses my mind to make lemonade.

Since talking to myself while seated among millennials in a coffee bar is socially unacceptable, I blog. I blog to ensure my understanding of anything is concrete and well-rounded. I blog to read my own mind and determine where the gaps of illogical processing are. It’s my way to process my life, its significance, and to configure real talk about how I could live better and what’s really working. Most of all, it’s a way to stay accountable to the type of person I picture myself as: I want to be Fresh, Fit, & Feminine.

Well, how does this involve me? How does it involve you?

The whole idea behind Fresh is eating in a way that promotes your physical and mental health while enjoying the tastes of the food you’re eating. From what I’ve seen and researched, women tend to have significantly destructive relationships with food. I should know, I used to loathe the idea of eating; sometimes, those thoughts circulate back into my mind even today and it takes so much work to notice the negativity and take action to change it. Fresh needs Fit to survive. Fit encompasses mental strength and the joy of staying physically healthy. And finally, Feminine adds the final punch to the trio to take it from surviving to thriving.

Femininity literally is descriptive of a typical woman- but what even is a typical woman anymore?

Throughout my whole life, I’ve received the general message from feminists that screams “don’t let men put you in a box.” But what if you’re perfectly fine with those boxes? What if your personal happiness would be greatly increased if you allowed yourself to fit within the stereotypes of your gender?

When I was a child I refused to confess that my favorite colors were pink or purple because I thought that boys would think that I’m a dumb girl and leave me in the dust, so I would always say that my favorite color is blue. Instead of dolls, I played with crayons and puzzles with a violent fear for anything pink. I argued for days on end when my mother would tell me that I needed to wear a dress to church for Easter or Christmas, but only because I thought that wearing a dress was stripping me of the right to be as intelligent and important as boys. But this argument didn’t stem to how I had been treated in the past, it stemmed from the feminist message that in order to be treated equally, you had to act like a man. To my childish self, I thought that this included what I played with and what I wore.

And now I say this:

Feminists mean well, but how I interpreted their principle message repressed my true nature. How did they do it? The answer is fear. Instead of opening the door to gender equality and leaving the feminine one open for me to choose between, they left it way in the back corner buried behind stacks of old dishes and straight to a jail cell where my stay-at-home mother sat waiting for me to join her.

Just to be clear, I don’t blame them for anything. I don’t hold them accountable for any impressions I received. In fact, I’m thankful that they tried to look out for my future given the ability that I – along with billions of young women – were born with.

That said,

I want to freely embrace my femininity. I take pride in confidently living a lifestyle of living pretty and aspiring to be beautiful on the inside and out. As an almost-20-year-old, I am unashamed of the fact that yes, I do love pink. And yes, I love sparkles. If it were up to me, I would be pink and glittery and I would literally leave sparkling rainbows of a monochromatic spectrum of pink everywhere I go.

I live for Femininity because it’s dying out. Being caring, emotional, and frankly girly isn’t what it could be and it’s definitely less than what it should be.

And that’s it- that sparked the energy necessary to begin the journey of Fresh, Fit, & Feminine.


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